Fostering with
D I V E R S E C A R E & X C E L 2 0 0 0
W O R K I N G T O G E T H E R I N P A R T N E R S H I P
* R A T E D O U T S T A N D I N G B Y O F S T E D *
THE HAZEL
PROJECT
There will times when it will be wonderfully rewarding and there are
times when you will wonder if you are making the difference that you
had hoped.
American Foster Parents created this award winning short film which
beautifully illustrates the conflicting emotions that many of our young
people feel. Separated from her baby brother, Zoe bounces from foster
home to foster home before finally finding a Foster Parent who is able to
see past her behaviours to the child behind them.
Fostering Will Be Life Changing
4 - The Hazel Project
5 - Our locations
6 - What is fostering
7 - Our first year
9 - Types of fostering
10 - Becoming a Foster Parent
11 - Foster Dad
13 - Matching children with your family
14 - Fostering, Islam & me
16 - Your own children
17 - Fees and allowances
20 - The hardest day of my life so far
22- What you can expect from us
23 - What we ask of you
24 - Training & additional services
25 - Our first year of fostering
26 - Respite
27 - Transferring to us
28 - FAQ's
29 - Next steps
Table of contents
Since 1987 independent fostering organisations like Diverse Care and Xcel 2000, the
two organisations working in partnership to form The Hazel Project, have been looking
after some of the most vulnerable children in the country on behalf of Local
Authorities. The work is equal parts challenging and rewarding. All of our children have
experienced trauma that no child should. As a result, many of our children will be
struggling at school and with their emotions and with their behaviour.
Intellectually we can understand and explain their struggles - but the amazing bit of
the work is that we manage to find truly astounding families who can live alongside
these children and who contribute a great deal to their healing.
We hope that this brochure will give you enough information to decide if fostering is
for you and if we are the organisation that you would like to work with.
We are partnered with Oxford University who study what we do, largely because our
outcomes are measurably better than other fostering organisations and there are a
number of reasons that we believe that may be. Many of the people in our
organisation have, like me, grown up in fostering families or have been Foster Parents
themselves and that gives us a better insight and understanding of what foster
families need.
It is important that you have a good partner in your fostering career, one that you can
trust and one that you believe will deliver the services that you need to be able to look
after some of the countries most traumatised children.
We believe that Foster Parents should be recognised as the key
professional in improving the lives of the children in their care.
Keith Gorman - Hazel Project Co-Director
The Hazel
Project
Our Office Locations
Chatham, Kent
WE WORK WITH FOSTER FAMILIES ACROSS
THE SOUTH EAST OF ENGLAND
Billericay, Essex
Sittingbourne, Kent
What is fostering?
Essentially, fostering is offering children a safe place
to live and be part of a loving family, while they are
unable to live with their own.
"Fostering is amazing! As Foster Parents, we don’t always know all
of the answers, but with good training and the right support, we
can provide the safe, stable environment that all children need to
thrive. We can make sure that they are listened to, not
misunderstood, we can stand by their side, give them strength
and help them to understand their emotions and behaviours.
We can help them to realise that none of it is their fault."
video
There are many words you could use to describe fostering but
the word that is most fitting for me would be “roller coaster”
(maybe that’s two). It's up and it's down and it's round and
round and some days you do a full 360!
Billie walked through my door on a cold night last October
and looked worried, scared and unsure. She didn’t want to be
in care, she hated “the system” and everything about it. She
didn’t care about herself or about life! I will never forget that
look on her face. From the moment Billie came into mine and
my two children's lives, she turned them upside down. There
were times when I thought “have I done the right thing?” “Can
I do this?” “Maybe teenagers aren’t for me,” but now, looking
back at the progress we have made, I know in my heart that it
is the right thing, I can do it and Billie is for me. Just over a
year on, I don’t know who that girl was!! The things we have
overcome and dealt with in that time and the difference that I
see in her is amazing.
Billie hated school and rarely attended. If there was any
drama - there was Billie. She got in trouble and fights very
easily. She didn’t care what happened to her and was so
totally lost in life and in a very dark place. I worried about her
constantly and there wasn’t any point in the day that she
wasn’t on my mind. Some days I only felt like we were going
down on that roller coaster ride, there wasn’t any up.
Although Billie didn’t know this, I struggled and felt I wasn’t
helping her enough. When you try so hard and it seems like
nothing you do is working, you feel that you are failing. Being
a natural problem solver, it was really difficult for me to not
be able to step in and automatically fix those problems for
her. Then, all of a sudden, the ride goes up. It might be the
smallest bit, or a huge climb but either way, it makes all of
the going down worthwhile.
We took each day one at a time and slowly, day by day and
A little bit about my
fostering journey...
month by month, things got better. We started to work
together and were heading in the right direction. I could see
the changes in Billie over the months and all of the comments
about how rewarding fostering is (which I hadn’t felt at all)
started to make sense to me. We had connected the very first
day we met but after a while, we were a team.
Billie started communicating with me more and now, there’s
nothing that we don’t talk about and work through. Her
problem is my problem. We might not always have the answer
straight away but we will get it together. Billie is at college
now and doing great. She has a part time job that she is
absolutely smashing. She has made new friends and is living
a life that she can now see has a future and more importantly
she wants that future for herself. I don’t even recognise that
16 year old that walked through our door a year ago. The
immature, very lost little girl called Billie has become a
mature and confident young lady!
So many people have said “I don’t know how you do it” or
“you're doing such a great thing to help young people” but
the thing is I don’t see it like that. I might have started out
thinking that way but the truth is, it's more what Billies has
done for me. I remember the day Billie told me that she loved
me and wanted me to be her Mum. This is a moment I will
never forget in all my life and I think this was a major turning
point for us.
What I have learnt from being Billies Foster Mum can’t be
written in a manual or taught in a training session. It’s just
being with her everyday. She has made me a better Mummy
and given me more than I could ever give her. I see the world
differently to how I used to and having Billie in my life has
made me a better person. She doesn’t realise this now, but
one day she will and maybe one day she will read this and
likely say OMG you're so soppy. She is my first foster
daughter and I’ve been the lucky one to have her. She will
always have a special place in my heart. I know the road is
long still but at least there are less speed bumps on it for her
now.
There isn’t much in fostering that is certain but she will
always be a part of my life forever, that I know for sure!
We need many different kinds of families for the many different kinds of
children and young people who need you. Every family lives differently –
our only interest is in whether you live happy, healthy, safe lives and can
stick with children who have been hurt and let down.
It is your decision who you welcome into your home and family and the
type of fostering that you specialise in is also your choice, be that parent
and child, long term, short term, respite or emergency fostering.
Types of Fostering
video
information, invite you
in for a discussion and,
if approved, you would
officially become a
foster family!
From application to
approval usually takes
4 to 6 months,
depending on how
quickly we are able to
complete each of the
steps above.
Becoming a Foster Parent
The Law rightly demands a very careful selection of foster families…our
children have often been let down and hurt and we must do everything we can
to prevent that from happening again with us.
Although the assessment process can feel intrusive, it is crucial that we get to
know you as well as we can. We need to be as sure as we can be that we are
providing safe, stable and loving homes for some of the most vulnerable
children in society.
We aren't looking for perfect people who have lived perfect lives. The
mistakes that you have made and the difficulties that you may have faced are
the things that often give you the qualities that we look for; resilience,
buoyancy, ambition for our children and respect for others, embracing
individuality, and a willingness and ability to think, reflect and empathise.
If you like what you read and watch within this brochure, please get in touch on
0800 7 747 747 to chat through your individual circumstances and organise to
meet us for a Fostering Information Session. We would usually visit you in your
home.
If you were keen to proceed, we would pop you an application form and, all
being well, allocate an Assessing Social Worker to work with throughout the
assessment process.
We would complete all relevant checks including a DBS (police check) and
gain references - all with your consent of course. You would also undertake
some training with us including "Skills to Foster" training and relevant online
courses.
Your information would be shared with our fostering panel who review your
Fostering gives me a great quality of life. I previously worked in retail and a
normal day for me would consist of being up at 5.30am to be at work for
7am and not returning home until after 6pm. Myself and my partner are full
time foster parents of 3 teenagers and my 2 stepsons also live with us. As all
the children are at school during the day it gives me a great work-life
balance. Of course, we have meetings to attend some days, training days
and reports to write but I also get the time to do work around the house
which I love, spend time at the gym and visit my dad. Sometimes it might not
feel like it, but we are always making a difference to these children’s lives
and giving them chances and opportunities that they may not have had
before. For me there could be no better reward than this.
The satisfaction that we get as a family knowing that we are making a
difference is immense, even though we have to tell ourselves and be
reminded of this some days! Like everything we do in life we get good days
and bad days, and fostering is no different. As a foster parent there is always
a network of people surrounding you offering support. We have access to
the fostering network, along with supervising social workers and a great
bunch of other foster parents to call upon if needed. You can guarantee that
if you are having a bad day, you can pick up the phone to another foster
parent and there is always someone out there that has been through the
same or similar situation. Even if they cannot offer you advise it is great to
be able to have a rant to someone that understands your situation and just
get things off your chest.
Similar can be said for the management team and all members of staff
within the fostering agency. They are all very personable and approachable
people that will offer a helping hand or listening ear if needed. Being a foster
parent is a family role, however my role would not work without my partner
by my side and her two sons who I treat as my own. She is able to see things
from a different perspective and our ideas join together make it work.
Life as a Foster Dad
I do a lot of things around the home, while my partner does most of the
admin and organises us all with structure and routine. We both love cooking
and try to get the children involved, so all together we make a good team. As
my stepsons spend time with their dad, this means the foster children get
good quality time with us to themselves. We also feel it is important to make
time for our birth children so ensure they also get the same time with us
alone. We make Christmas and Birthdays very special in our home. While we
are given guidance on what we should spend, my partner never sticks to this
and always goes above and beyond to give all the children the most special
day. We have had some amazing holidays as a family including taking them
to Center Parcs, Disneyland Paris and more recently Tenerife. People may
think we are crazy, taking 5 children on holiday and I won’t lie it was very
busy and certainly not relaxing, but we enjoyed many activities and made it
so much fun for everyone.
We always used to feel guilty using our respite days, but since becoming a
busier household we have realised we need to use it for our benefit and the
children. We always make sure we make time for ourselves and booked a
holiday just for the two of us to recharge our batteries.
While we are not these children’s parents, we are still given a level of
delegated authority to make certain decisions. Although we cannot make all
of them, we try our best to treat them as we would our own children to the
extent of which we are allowed. This includes teaching them good values
and independence skills to enable them to live independently when they do
eventually move on. We like to hope those we care for will stay in touch with
us and if they don’t, we have to accept that and know that what we did will
have helped them at some point along the way.
Whilst at times the job can bring many challenges and is certainly far from
easy, I wouldn’t change it for the world as the benefits far outweigh the
negatives.
Matching children with
your family
Our referrals team receive hundreds of referrals every week for
children needing families.
The number of children who we are able to match with you will depend on your
flexibility around children's age, gender and behavioural needs as well as your
skillset, family make up, the space that
you have in your home and your
geographical location.
Children can often arrive with you the
same day that a referral is received and
24 hour Asda is often referred to as a
foster parents best friend - late evening
dashes for pyjamas is not uncommon!
video
Fostering, Islam and Me
The letters lying on the floor by our front doors each morning can
change the direction of a day. Sometimes a larger than expected
electricity bill can set us off course, a postcard from a friend on
holiday can brighten an otherwise dull morning, but some letters
are life-changing. My family recently received one such letter: A
piece of paper that changed nothing in our relationships but, at
the same time, changed our future together. The letter was from
my local authority informing us that, after almost 3 years, my
foster daughter now has a legal, permanent home with us.
In public places and wherever we go, my foster daughter and I
have to endure the inquisitive looks of others as they try to work
out what kind of relationship we have. I am after all (what looks
like) a brown practising Muslim female with a headscarf in the
company of a white teenage girl. Over time, we both learned to
ignore the looks and carry on regardless. We ignored the looks of
others because deep down we both know that what we share is
far deeper than any box that society has created for us.
I soon realised that my faith as a Muslim does not clash with ANY
of my duties and role as a foster parent! On the contrary,
fostering as a Muslim has given me not only the opportunity to
change the life of a child but also break down some of the taboos
and deep misconceptions within the Muslim community.
The long-term stability of having a permanent, loving home, even
after she reaches adulthood, will give her the foundation that
every child and young person deserves and needs, and that so
many children sadly lack. Having a loving family, moral guidance,
and a safety net can never be underestimated and can change
the course of a person’s life.
As a foster parent, I take great pride in being able to give a home,
however temporary, to a child or young person in need of
stability and care. The Prophet Muhammed, Peace be upon Him,
said: “The best house of Muslims is one where the orphan is
cared for” and himself cared for and accepted Zayd, known as
“the Beloved messenger of God,” as part of his household and
family”
The teachings of Islam and the life of Prophet Muhammed, Peace
be Upon Him, put great importance on caring and reaching out
for the most vulnerable in our society. The Holy Quran teaches us
that orphans and vulnerable people are our responsibility in the
eyes of God and that we have a communal moral obligation to
ensure that homeless, parentless, or children without the love and
care of a stable home are loved and provided for, both practically
and emotionally.
"يخالطوهم ان و خير لهم اصالح قل اليتامى عن يسئلونك و اآلخرة و الدنيا في
حكيم عزيز هللا ان العنتكم هللا شاء لو و المصلح من المفسد يعلم هللا و فاخوانكم "
البقرة سورة ٠٢٢ االية
“In (to) this worldly life and the Hereafter. And they ask you about
the orphans. Say “The best thing is to work honestly in their
property, and if you mix your affairs with theirs, then they are your
brothers. And Allah knows him who means mischief (e. g: to
swallow their property) from him who means good (e.g: to save
their property). And if Allah had wished, He could have put you
into difficulties.
Truly, Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise"
Holy Quran- Al Baqara verse 220
The life-changing letter that sat on the floor by our front door did
not change the way I feel about my foster daughter, nor the fact
that our home is her home and always will be. The change was
validation: Seeing the words on that letter meant that she will
always have a family and a place where she belongs. An
emotional moment as we both sat on the sofa reading carefully
every line and slowly absorbing its content. Without any words,
we both realised that this is exactly what we have been longing
for: an end to uncertainty.
Your own children
Your own children will always be our top priority when matching
foster children with your family.
"Our son Cameron is 6 years old. We've had 8 children through the door in the
last year and he has been kind and accommodating with each one. He has
knocked on their door and encouraged them out to play with him, he has
shared his home, his parents and his playroom with them all. He has formed
bonds with some of them that stay with him to this day and in one of his
school books that he brought home at the end of term, it showed a family tree
he had made which included the foster child who was staying with us at that
time.
He has had his difficulties and has asked for us to stop fostering on a few
occasions but every time a new young person comes through the door, he is
his usual bubbly, kind and chatty self.
One day we looked after toddler twin boys and Cameron got down on their
level, shared his toys with them, played ball with them, encouraged them
when they did something good, and kept an eye on them for me if I had to
leave the room. He was ever so helpful that day and he really enjoyed himself,
asking if they could come back. We are really proud of Cameron."
video
Fostering fees and allowances
You become our professional colleague; valued,
respected, and paid well for the excellent work that you
undertake in caring for the young people in your family.
For more information about tax breaks given to
foster parents, visit;
https://thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/advice-
information/finances/tax-faqs
video
This document will give a brief overview of what you can
receive as Foster Parent with us.
Fostering fees:
The rates paid for each child is dependent on their needs.
Fostering fees are only paid when a child is living with you
unless you are on a retainer agreement.
Usual rates per week per child:
Standard: £494.47 Enhanced: £618.08
Specialist: £804.00 Solo: £1018.61
Parent & Child: £926.81 Hippocratic: £961.54
Professional fees (monies intended as payment for your
services), maintenance fees (monies intended to provide for
the care of the child), savings and pocket money are all
included within the rates.
*In some circumstances, we are bound to offer (due to
contracts or terms and conditions) discounts against rates
charged for the services that we provide for siblings or
children in longer term care.
Transport:
There is a mileage figure of 140 miles per week assumed
within the foster parent’s maintenance fees.
Child savings:
We save £10-£15 per week on behalf of every child placed
with you. This is deducted at source from the fostering fees.
Amounts vary for each local authority but a £10 minimum is
saved.
Respite allowance and pay:
Respite is intended to give the Foster Parent a break with
foster children enjoying time with another Foster Parent
without the concern of lost earnings. We offer a respite
allowance of 21 days, per child.
Alternative respite arrangements:
Some families may be able to take a break whilst entrusting
the respite care of their child(ren) to members of their
support network rather than a different foster family. We
cannot pay the respite carer, as we have no financial
relationship with them. Therefore, we would pay the Foster
Parent their usual ‘fostering fee’ and the respite allowance.
The financial arrangement is between the Foster Parent and
their support ‘respite’ carer. We have no liability in this
regard.
Holiday allowance:
We offer a claimable holiday allowance of £400 per annum,
per child, to assist foster parents when taking a child/young
person on holiday.
This may contribute towards the cost of a single holiday or be
used against a number of shorter breaks.
Additional monies:
In exceptional circumstances, expenditure may be claimable
for items such as school uniform, emergency clothing and
specialist equipment, provided that prior approval is sought,
granted and evidence provided.
Contact information:
If you have any queries or questions about anything in this
guide, please do get in contact with us in the finance
department.
Email: finance@diversecare.com/finance@xcel2000.com
Telephone: 01795 470 222
Parent and child specialist fostering;
My hardest day so far…
So, today has probably been the
hardest day in my fostering career
so far. I was fine, until baby was
in bed, and then the tears came.
An adoption order was granted by
the court, but Mum was told that
in my front room.
She’s been struggling with her
mental health, seriously
struggling, and the idea was to
keep her as safe as possible,
when she heard the news. Me and
her, two Social Workers, two
Solicitors.
In my front room, with my friend next door, on standby, to take the
baby for a bit if necessary...I didn’t know for sure what the news
would be, but knew it was possible.
After months together, now they’ll see each other just twice a week,
a couple of hours each time. “Why not every day?”, she asked; so
that she can “start to withdraw” from him, was the answer. Her
tears, that began at the news of adoption, and had calmed - in my
back garden, where she could have a little privacy - were nothing
compared to those that came now. I knew I needed to be strong for
her but it was hard. To say she was not happy, was an
understatement.